Many marriage counselors say that 95 – 99% of all problems in marriages are rooted in problems
from our childhood. There are hurting little boys and girls inside of all of us that carry pain which
can easily be triggered as adults! Because we live in a fallen world and had imperfect parents, we
all experienced pain and trauma growing up. Every time our basic love needs of unconditional
love, feeling safe and secure, knowing our purpose in life, and being seen, heard, and understood
were not met, we felt pain in our heart. If we were not comforted and validated in our pain or
did not have enough joy to process the painful event, we got emotionally stuck when the
trauma or wound occurred. Until healed, those hurts stay active in the subconscious and can be
triggered by similar situations in our life. Also, spiritual and emotional growth and maturity are
put on hold at whatever age we were when the painful events occurred.
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